Plus, tips to keep yourself happy
We have all heard, seen, and read wise words about productivity. There are reels on Instagram, TikTok videos, memes, Facebook posts filled with unattainable but inspiring words.
But I have realized that to stop wasting your life, you need to have an honest conversation with yourself. Take a closer look at your motivations and attitudes. Different suggestions work for different people.
Don’t Believe Everything
As an Ayurvedic doctor, I meet all kinds of people and clients. Some couldn’t be motivated to follow a single piece of advice but there are others who will research every article on Google and look up a million suggestions on Instagram and TikTok. Just because an influencer says that you should drink turmeric milk every day or pop ashwagandha pills for stress release, don’t believe it.
One of my clients saw a YouTube video that suggested you should start your day with 20 minutes of oil pulling every morning. We started working together after she developed severe muscular ache and spasm in the mouth and believed the oil was causing the pain. From zero to 20 minutes of muscle movement overnight is a recipe for pain.
Self-Discipline Is A Skill
We all have days when we just don’t wanna! If you are sick or completely wiped out or sleep-deprived, it’s okay to skip your routine stuff on rare occasions. But make it a point to not listen to everything you think.
Create a routine and rely on habits, not motivation, to lead a balanced life. Instead of asking yourself if you want to hit the gym when it’s snowing outside, keep your workout clothes, shoes, keys, phone, and gym bag ready the night before. You will feel so much better!
I also think of self-discipline as key to excelling in life because it teaches you not to waste your energy on the mundane or the could-haves, should-haves, and would-haves.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
Comparison is the thief of joy and sanity. Even before the world of social media took over our self-esteem, people made it a point to praise what others had. They pitied their own life and its various aspects, such as physical appearance, partner, children, accomplishments, home, car, degrees, career, health, or just the simplest sense of being.
Now in the digital age, we are addicted to screens and compare our day-to-day existence with people’s highlighted reels. We think everyone has a better relationship than us. While social media posts tell us that every relationship is thriving, research tells us that first marriages still end in divorce at a rate of approximately 35-50%, while second marriages face an even higher likelihood of dissolution, ranging from 60-70% or more.[1]
Be Better Than Your Excuses
For me, family comes before everything else. But I will remind you to not use family as an excuse or describe it as a burden or crusher of your dreams. I was a cross-continental caregiver for my father, which meant I was sleep-deprived, exhausted, saying no to clients, and burnt out. But I thought of my duties as a gift to be able to do something for the man who is the reason for being the person I am today.
I see family as a beautiful responsibility that gives us purpose in life. They can be our support system if we trust them. A childhood friend of mine who lives in Canada has three little kids. She is married, works as a banker, and cooks fresh meals daily. She also works out six days a week and is part of a South Asian women’s motorbike group. These ladies drive hundreds of miles over the weekend on their motorcycle. I was in Toronto a few months ago and asked my friend how she managed to do it all. She said, “I don’t waste my time.” She wakes up at 3:30 a.m. to be able to exercise for an hour and a half. Then she spends time with her husband and drops the kids off at school before leaving for work.
Her mental health state is enviable because she takes intentional breaks to rest and recharge without leaving any extra space for nonsensical chatter.
Live In The Moment
Nothing annoys me more than middle-aged desis getting drunk at a party and talking about their college days when no one in the room was part of their life then. Who cares? I have seen so many older people create nonprofits in the name of their parents or get an oil painting made of their deceased family members after they died.
When the elders were alive, the same kids didn’t spend any time with them or show them proper respect. The same group is now worried about their future. Basically, there are a million ways to mess with your stability and happiness. Not living in the moment and appreciating it for all its beauty and challenges is a guaranteed way.
Be A Perpetual Learner
One of the things I love most about my husband and myself is that we show up to life as humble students. We never think we are too good to learn something new. Our favorite pastime is sharing with each other something new we learned or watching TED Talks together. I got my doctorate in Ayurveda barely a month ago, but I have already signed up for a course in artificial intelligence because it impacts both the world of mental health and creativity.
Stop Refreshing Your Phone
Unless you are a doctor or nurse working in the emergency services at a hospital, there is no need to constantly check your phone. If you didn’t respond right away to a text message, email or missed a call, the world won’t come crumbling down. Live your own life instead of living vicariously through other people’s social media feeds and photos of their vacations and lunches.
Let It Go
Be it procrastinating or holding grudges or constantly complaining or being addicted to watching meaningless content to hanging out with negative people to the habit of making excuses, don’t waste time dwelling on matters that don’t serve you.
We all have 24 hours in a day. You can choose to do something big and better with your life or remain stuck in a rut because of habits and attitudes that don’t support you.
Ignore The Chatter
As a desi, immigrant woman, I was trained and conditioned to seek out other people’s approval. It’s hard to break the habit. But trust me, it’s so freeing when you accept that people and their thoughts are transient. And whatever you do or don’t do has little to do with what they think of you. To be stable, sane, and happy, you need to detach yourself from other people’s opinion of you and live in alignment with your authentic self.
“The true currency of life is time, not money, and we’ve all got a limited stock of that.” ~ Robert Harris
