Have you ever tried having a long distance relationship? This type of relationship can present abundant challenges. However, they can be overcome in the path to romance.
Sometimes work separates two people in love. One may have to move from their honey in order to accept a promotion or work in a different city. School may require a different location if you are on campus, rather than virtual. Friends and family may advise against trying this form of romance, especially if they are traditional in their view of romance; it certainly won’t be the easiest path. You might miss your sweetie and feel a sense of loneliness at times.
However, you’ll appreciate the little things more when you do get together, whether for a day or a week. Holding hands, sharing a dinner, watching a movie and the simple things missed will take on a special feeling when you are together again after a period of a long distance relationship.
Long Distance Relationship Advice
There are many long distance relationship tips that can be helpful to those who live separately by miles. Know that the distance relationship can absolutely work. Here are 10 tips on how to make long distance work.
1. Try to avoid constant communication.
Possessiveness does not work when you and your honey are living at a distance. Compensating for the space or miles between you is not accomplished through constant contact. Less is more, when it come to communicating, and spamming the other person may be a turn-off.
On the other hand, save communication for special times, finding the right moments. That said, saying good-morning and good-night can be critical to the relationship. Regular communication is important to maintaining the bond. Let the other person know what is happening in your life and don’t be afraid to send each other photos, short videos and audio clips to keep the interest alive. Switch up your communication; you will each feel more loved.
2. See it as a relationship test.
It is a special journey as well as a test of your relationship. Some wise anonymous person once said, “If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” You can live far and be very close, or you can live close and feel very far.
3. Ground rules go first.
Surprises are fun, but a surprise from a person not nearby can be damaging to the relationship. In the beginning, set some ground rules. Is your relationship exclusive? Can you date others as friends? Openness about how the relationship will work is important to both people.
4. It’s okay; you can talk dirty to each other.
Sexual tension is important between couples. You can send texts that are teasing or provide sexy descriptions. Maintaining intimacy is important in distance relationships.
Some of things to try include the following:
- Things you’d like to try
- Phone sex
- Swapping sexy pics, but make sure you have a secure messaging app
- Send erotic emails, texts or letters
- Mutual eroticism during a video chat
Make sure to discuss digital intimacy before doing it! Not everyone is comfortable with this type of communication. If it is okay, and you feel awkward, share this with your partner as well.
5. “Be there” for the other person.
You can be there emotionally when the other person needs you. Be intentional about responding to the other person’s attempt to connect. If a call on the schedule, put other things aside and communicate and listen by giving your whole attention. Find out how an important day went. Show your partner that you are there for them, no matter what the distance may be.
On the other hand, don’t be afraid to talk about trivial things as well as important ones. Share daily mundane adventures, such as meeting your new neighbors or eating a delicious lunch. If you were actually living together, these are things you might want to share. Also share cultural explorations that may bring you together emotionally.
6. Discuss communication needs at the beginning.
How often do you want to talk? Schedule longer conversations and find a time that works for both of you. Compromise and be flexible, if necessary, to achieve a workable schedule for both of you.
7. Keep your routines and your independence.
Maintain your life, even though your sweetie is far away. Spend time with friends and family; it will help relieve any loneliness your might be feeling.
8. Send letters by snail mail.
This old-fashioned method of communication can be very romantic. A surprise in the mailbox creates excitement; it is also the way to give your partner a memory of your time apart, once you are back together in person. In your letters, you can enclose pictures, notes or mementos of you together.
9. Encourage each other to do what they love.
Being there for them is important, but encouraging your partner to keep doing what they love is important as well. If they have an art class on the night you are on schedule to chat, remember to be flexible. Give them the space to grow as an individual, and your relationship can grow with it.
10. Schedule in person time together.
Know how to how to keep a long distance relationship with in-person time together. For visits in person, plan ahead, scoring a good deal on plane tickets to make it easier to get together more often. You can even meet up at a spot halfway between your two locations.(Such as a romantic hideaway.)
Long Distance Date Ideas
There are abundant activities you can share with your partner, though far away. Here are some long distance date ideas that you might try:
Watch a movie together, while apart
Watch an R-rated comedy, such as Plan B on Hulu together. Streaming makes it possible to watch together at a distance, so enjoy a movie. Talk about it afterwards.
Discover a hobby together
Promoting relaxation, a hobby lets you and your partner discover joy in the simple things. Doing it together is a form of sharing. It could be yoga, painting, woodworking, cooking or baking, learning a new language or even knitting or crocheting. A hobby you can do at home lets you put it on video and have fun.
Cook a meal together, then savor it
Using the same recipe, you both make the meal. Chat through video while doing it, being sure to keep the phone or laptop away from the food and drink! It might be a favorite Indian recipe or something else tasty or exotic. Then sit down and savor a meal together again, through the miles.
Another take on this is to make eating the meal a date night. It has already gone through cooking; now set the mood with candles, a nice tablecloth, flowers and romantic lighting. You can end the date with a candlelight bath, increasing your intimacy through the distance.
Invite your partner to your friends or family’s home
Video chats can help to involve each other in your partner’s life. Whether hanging out with friends or going to your parents for a traditional dinner, share it. Weddings and other events can also be shared. This is especially valuable if one partner lives in a new city without any family nearby. However, your group should know that your digital guest is present, especially if they are chatting or gossiping or telling personal stories.
There might be a holiday gathering happening; your sweetie would probably love to be on the invite list, especially if they can’t see you in person at that time. Share the love!
Take a walk together
Whether it is out in nature with fabulous views or within the nearby park in your new city, sharing a walk will bring you closer. Point out things along the way, showing the surroundings, while both of you take a walk simultaneously. A park of favorite quiet spot will work the best, as you don’t want to be in traffic looking at your phone!
Paint a picture together
Even if you or your partner are not artists, doing a portrait of the other will be fun. Share the results or paint and chat through video. The idea is not a perfect resemblance; it is about sharing and having fun together. Art offers joy and relaxation; the portrait may give you insights into your partner as well.
Share culture and hang out together
Whether it’s a great book you both read or listen to the same playlist, activities with your partner can make you feel more interdependent and more connected. You might plan a night when you both go to the same chain restaurant or play games online together. Partners will feel less pulled apart by the distance, by sharing little things.
Make a list of things to do when actually together again
This can give you something to look forward to, as having goals will bring more intimacy. It might be going to a certain spa or hot springs, enjoying a couples massage, visiting a cute bed and breakfast or going on a hike, paddle or bike ride.
Expectations And Long Term
Having the discussion at the beginning of your distanced relationship will make it easier. Is it just a fling? Do you want a relationship that grows closer? Is marriage a long-term goal? Being on the same page will make the time apart go more smoothly. If things are not feeling right, go back to your initial expectations to revisit those goals.
Don’t avoid conflict. If you have a difference of opinion, you can say so. Minor things, such as a mess in the bathroom or kitchen sink piled with dishes, won’t come up, but major differences in views may help you realize the this relationship is not for the long term. Trying to keep the relationship free of conflict and perfect may slow down your growth as partners, as well.
You now know some of things to do in a long distance relationship to keep romance and intimacy alive. Fun, as well as romance, goals and an emotional connection are all part of the glue that will hold your relationship together when physical distance happens.
Real intimacy occurs when two people don’t romanticize each other but keep it real. The test of a relationship will be when you are together again. Meanwhile, enjoy the distance and the fun as well as the passion of a relationship from a distance. It’s definitely worth the try.
Although not a permanent arrangement, a long-distance relationship can be part of a lasting one. Goals for being together again are important. Meanwhile it can be a test of the relationship and the care you have for each other.
As for the relationship lasting, you will both need to put in the effort, during distance, to create a relationship that lasts once you are with each other in person again.
A recent research study of Americans shows a 58 percent success rate. They studied 1,000 Americans and found that the odds of success are almost like flipping a coin. Other academic research showed that 37 percent of couples break up with three months of living close together again. This shows that there is some success, above half of these relationships work out.
Trust, commitment and satisfaction are often better with long-distance dating relationships, as long as each person avoids an idealized version of their partner.
Pay attention to long distance relationship tips as mentioned above. Communication is a key. Allowing the other person space is also important. Chatting through letters, emails, video and photos may also be very valuable. Expect that the relationship will not be perfect; seeing your partner as real, not ideal, is a key.
Constant connection or spamming usually is not a good idea. Dating others, unless agreed upon with your partner, is usually frowned upon. Sending intimate photos, unless talked about and okayed beforehand, might kill a relationship. You should avoid trying to make the relationship perfect by not discussing important issues.
Avoid checking up on your partner too often. Trust is part of the agreement that your special person is doing what they say they are doing.
Putting effort into the long-distance relationship is the most important thing. It does take some work, for both people. Knowing that your world does not revolve around your partner helps to tame expectations and keep individuality; sometimes this gets lost in the long-distance shuffle. Actually, there is a fairly good chance that this relationship might work out, according to the statistics. Knowing how to make long distance work is vital.