How to look after yourself during the holiday
Thanksgiving is one of my most favorite American holidays. Religion isn’t at the root of this day, so the focus is on what brings family, friends, food, and football together. Many people either get the Friday after Thanksgiving off or take a holiday, so it becomes a 4-day weekend. The November air is crisp and comforting.
I love Thanksgiving! It’s the one holiday where I don’t host parties but celebrate with loved ones. I think of this holiday as a kickoff to the holiday season. It’s time to be kind and give back.
But I have also realized over the years that nothing is constant. The aunt and uncle who organized Thanksgiving are old and can no longer host 30 cousins. The friends whose house was the epicenter of the most diverse Thanksgiving meal—20 ethnicities and 20 cultural-specific dishes aside from the traditional stuffed turkey and pies—move to the countryside three hours away. The cousin who hosted friends and family endures a personal loss. These are some examples, and I am sure there are many more reasons why your Thanksgiving celebration, as an immigrant, changes over time.
Thanksgiving may often bring lots of emotional upheaval for those grieving. Grief isn’t just limited to losing a loved one, it’s a natural response to any kind of loss. What if you have lost your job or your marriage ended or a loved one passed away or you had to sell your home, or your kids come home from college with their partner and don’t want to visit anyone? All sad and stressful situations.
Thanksgiving On A Happy Note
What if you decide to host an elaborate Thanksgiving meal? While joyous and rejuvenating, Thanksgiving week can also mean the start of anxiety and exhaustion if you are playing host. It might bring a lot of joy but also extra work: deep cleaning the house, curating the guest list, creating the menu, going shopping, making sure everything is in place, unplanned chaos if someone’s flight gets delayed/gets stuck in traffic, and so much more. The increased stress levels can be overwhelming.
I am a big proponent of practicing self-care every day. No matter where you are in life (celebrating or grieving), it’s imperative to practice self-care especially during Thanksgiving as it can help you get through the holiday without losing your sanity. It can teach you to hold grace if the holiday feels just a bit much.
Acknowledge Your Grief
For me and my husband, every holiday since summer of 2023 has felt heavy. We do want to acknowledge the good in our lives and celebrate us and those alive. But we can’t forego the losses we have endured. So, we said NO to every large gathering for Dussehra, Diwali, and even Thanksgiving. While we aren’t ready for exuberant celebrations, we planned to travel to a cousin down south for an intimate Thanksgiving gathering and dinner. A place where we feel nourished and aren’t alone yet don’t have to be performative and where we can share memories about our loved ones.
Eat Mindfully
I see clients across cultures abuse their bodies and approach food with vengeance during holidays. I have heard friends and family brag about “food coma” and digestive discomfort post-Thanksgiving. Maybe we shift our mindset and show up to the Thanksgiving table with an abundance mindset?
The turkey, stuffing, sides, and desserts can be made available whenever you want it. You don’t have to eat like it’s your last Thanksgiving. You don’t have to change into sweatpants and eat leftovers for days. Ayurveda says that disease begins when we forget our innate nature. Undigested and unprocessed food can create ama or toxins in the body and weaken the agni (digestive fire), which is the root cause of disease.
The leading causes of death in Asian Indian immigrants are cardiovascular disease (CVD – including strokes and heart disease), and cancers.[1] Compared with other ethnic groups, South Asians are especially at risk for serious medical condition such as diabetes.[2]
Do A Social Media Detox
If you are going through a difficult time and have chosen to spend the holiday in a mellow way, disconnect and disengage from social media. What people share on social media is a representation of their fleeting feeling in the moment. They might have stormed off two minutes ago and argued with another person. But their social media posts look straight out of a Sooraj Barjatiya movie—happy, balanced, and perfect lives.
People tend to share curated highlights, but if you are feeling alone, isolated, and low, their posts might trigger you. If you are spending Thanksgiving with a large group of people, still do a social media detox. Be present in the now. Make memories and spend time with your loved ones.
Get Sufficient Rest And Sleep
Sleep is considered one of the important pillars of health in Ayurveda. That’s why it finds its way onto most of my self-care lists. Sleep is critical to maintaining good mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing. It strengthens our immunity and helps fight infections. Our body replenishes and recharges when we sleep. It aids the body in repairing, regenerating, and recovering. Good and restful sleep offers us the ability to think more clearly, find more focus, and remain unfettered despite all the demands of the holiday. When we sleep, our body detoxifies, and the mind replenishes.
Move Your Body
Many people associate Thanksgiving with binge-eating and football-watching, but not moving their body. Holiday stress, irregular lifestyle, and festive eating yet no outlet to burn the mental or physical toxins? Exercise reduces stress, improves mood, and enhances the quality of your sleep. Going for a run or walk, taking a yoga or kickboxing class, or hiking in the mountains also offers you a chance to disengage from the world and turn inward.
Even if you are an extrovert, too much socializing and talking can start to feel draining after a point so embrace downtime. Ultimately, holidays are stressful, no matter what. Exercise is a stress reliever.
Listen to yourself and honor your needs. Let no one force you into doing anything you don’t want this Thanksgiving. Communicate your boundaries, schedule downtime, and practice gratitude.
“Love starts with self-love. Before you love others, you have to love yourself. When you love yourself, you automatically start loving others.” ~ Robert Mack
Disclaimer: The content is purely informative and educational in nature and should not be construed as medical advice. The information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure, or prevention of any disease. Please use the content only in consultation with an appropriate certified medical or healthcare professional. If you are nursing, taking medications, or have a medical condition, please consult with your health care practitioner prior to the use of any of these herbs. If you are looking for advice from a trained yogi and ayurvedic practitioner, contact the author here.
[1] https://med.stanford.edu/content/dam/sm/care/2021Summerresearchfellowproject/India-Data-Brief.pdf
