What Sisterhood Truly Means for Women
“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” These words by Helen Keller succinctly define what female friendships and companionships mean to women. While the term “sisterhood” has become a new internet favourite (especially for companies that look to capitalize on it on days like Friendship, Women’s, or Galentine’s Day), this is as old as time, even when there was no language to define it. For centuries, women have relied on each other for things that men cannot even begin to comprehend. Women have sought much-needed emotional support from their female companions, whether it is their aunt, friend, sister, or colleague.
So, when I read the author Jojo Moyes questioning the sanity or mental wellness of women without female friendships, I could not agree more. She says, “ I don’t know how anybody stays sane without female friends. I don’t know what my character would be without the close friends that I’ve had. I’ve had my best friend since I was 16 and it’s such a privilege to have somebody who has known you for the best part of 40 years and knows every bit of you and can call on you when you’re being a pain in the backside or can make you laugh or put things into perspective. I don’t know how people survive without that.” What Moyes points out is crucial to understanding what female friendships truly mean to many women and how they directly contribute to sustaining mental health.
When I went on my first solo trip in India (Bir, a small town in the state of Himachal Pradesh), I had never imagined I would trust a stranger this much. Yes, I was a bit nervous about how things would pan out, but I was also keen to explore things on my own. On my first day in my hostel dorm, I met a woman who was volunteering for hostel management in exchange for stay and food. She greeted me so warmly that I did not even feel I was meeting her for the very first time. We talked extensively about our careers, education, travel goals, regrets, and dreams in one sitting at our dorm. My next 48 hours in Bir were no short of magic; she took me to hidden places that I never could have explored on my own. She took me on a morning walk, where I saw her meditating on a giant rock (she even taught me how to pluck and eat wild Himalayan berries), to a secluded waterfall for a swim, to a café overlooking the whole town, and to a massive paragliding site where we sat on the ground, watching the dreamiest sunset. I even dared to walk with her in the dead of night. Everything was so easy and smooth with her. I wonder if I would have been this comfortable with a male stranger. I don’t know if I would have survived that solo trip without her.
Meanwhile, “there is a mainstream patriarchal mindset that tells us how women compete with each other and that is not true,” says Ayushi Mehta, a Gender Studies scholar. She tells me how this mindset is established to uphold the secondary status of women, so they could continue to be seen as “goods” to be circulated among men.
Recently, at the Jaipur Literature Festival, author and Bollywood actress Huma Qureshi talked about sisterhood and how it helped her achieve success. Her thoughts echo what Mehta is trying to explain. She says, “A lot of things, decisions, and achievements that I have managed to garner for myself have happened because of love, support, and care from the women around me. And I don’t think in popular media we talk about this. It is always about the catfights, or who is bitching about who, or I can’t stand you, or if a man cheats on a woman, it has to be about the two women, and that’s a horrible way to look at it (women). I think, in my life, I have always been nurtured by a lot of women around me and I don’t know what I would do without my sisters and my female friends.”
The word “sisterhood” is used so liberally that we often forget its true meaning, reducing it to commercialized notions of support, care, empowerment, and love. However, the term has bigger goals and meanings. For instance, Mehta says she “always tilts towards using the word solidarity when it comes to women than using sisterhood.” Because the term solidarity gives the weight that the understanding of this sacred bond requires. As bell hooks also explained, “Solidarity is not the same as support. To experience solidarity, we must have a community of interests, shared beliefs, and goals around which to unite—to build sisterhood. Support can be occasional. It can be given and just as easily withdrawn. Solidarity requires sustained, ongoing commitment. In the feminist movement, there is a need for diversity, disagreement, and difference if we are to grow.”
Sisterhood—true sisterhood—is not just about fleeting moments of camaraderie but about deep, unwavering solidarity. It is about standing by each other, not just in moments of success, celebrations, and happiness but in times of struggle, in the face of systemic oppression, and in the quiet battles that women face all alone. It is not just an abstract sentiment but a radical act of survival and resistance. The world may try to pit women against each other, but time and again, they prove that their strength lies within themselves, in their sacred bonds and unity. Because when women hold each other up, they do more than just survive—they thrive.
