A simple act can make the world a happier place
Do you remember the last time you were kind to someone without expecting anything in return? Can you reflect on a time in life when someone showed you an act of kindness out of nowhere? How did receiving and giving kindness make you feel?
In November 2018, I was exceptionally sick. I had lost 50 pounds in two months, and become exceptionally frail. I had multiple doctors’ appointments every week. My resilient mind kept reiterating I would get better, but it was physically still difficult. My father came to the U.S. from India to help with my surgery and recovery. My husband had been balancing work and a sick wife for months. With Dad at home, he was able to attend meetings and navigate deadlines before my operation.
Subway In A Snowstorm
One evening, I went to the doctors for a follow-up. My husband was at work, and I didn’t want to hassle my father. After the appointment, it started to snow which turned out to be a full-blown snowstorm in the month of November. I couldn’t find an Uber and other ride apps showed 60-minute wait time.
I was in pain, my father was alone at home, and the doctor’s office was about to close for the day. It would take my husband at least 45 minutes to reach the doctor’s office. I mustered the courage to take the subway home.
The pain was so excruciating that I could barely lift my feet. I was worried that my bag of bones would slip and fall. Out of nowhere, a woman showed up. “Hold my hand,” she said. She helped me cross the road and climb the subway stairwell. Another woman in the subway asked a man to give up his seat so I could sit. I was so drowsy with pain that if someone snatched my handbag, I would have sat there speechless. This woman kept an eye on me and my handbag.
When I reached my subway stop, another lady said, “This is my stop too. Let me help you.” She held my hand and took small, slow, and kind steps, so I was able to walk up the stairs. She asked where I lived and walked me to the entrance of my building. New York City has a lot of stereotypes about it including one where people don’t care. But in my weakest moment, New York women took turns to shower acts of kindness.
Understanding Kindness
We all struggle. If you can understand this basic concept, you will intuitively embrace kindness. Studies show that acts of kindness can make you healthier. In his book “The Five Side Effects of Kindness”, David Hamilton writes that good deeds produce the love hormone, oxytocin. This hormone offers long-term benefits. Oxytocin protects the cardiovascular system, serves as an antioxidant eliminating free radical damage, and reduces systemic inflammation.
Additionally, oxytocin can induce anti-stress-like effects such as reduction of blood pressure and cortisol levels. It increases pain thresholds, exerts an anxiolytic-like effect and stimulates various types of positive social interaction. In addition, it promotes growth and healing.
Practicing Kindness
Root For Your Entrepreneurial Friends
Support your small business owner friends and colleagues by purchasing goods or services from them as gifts for Diwali. Share their work with your networks. Buy their books. Mention their names in rooms where it can have an impact.
Generosity During The Holidays
Pay attention to your circle of humans. Is someone grieving or going through a rough period in their life, or doesn’t have family where they live, or dealing with a sick child? Invite them to join your family for lunch or dinner during the festive season.
Take A Few Moments For The Elderly
There is a lady in our building who has polio. For over 15 years, she has sat with her home aide in the lobby and greeted us all when we are headed to or returning from work. She responds with a large smile when you take out just a few moments to acknowledge her presence or speak with her.
Practice Gratitude At The Grocery Store
People are in a rush as they impatiently wait in lines to pay for their groceries at supermarkets. I have seen many not even acknowledge the person scanning their groceries unless they want to argue about discounts or prices. Instead of making a demand, say please and thank you to the person manning the cash register. You being courteous to the person makes them more likely to want to help you. And you make their day by being kind.
Surprise Someone
Some of my colleagues sent me beautiful flowers when my father passed away. The bouquets came with heartfelt hand-written notes that made me feel less alone in my grief.
Smile At People
It’s hard to be upset when you are smiling. When a baby or toddler smiles at the hardest of adult faces, you see them smile back. According to a study published in the journal “Trends in Cognitive Sciences”, smiling is actually contagious! Be discerning, but maybe smile at a stranger?
Help Someone You Don’t Know
Ever seen someone count their coins to pay for coffee or a bagel or a donut? If you can afford it, buy it for them. Hold the door for a stranger. Pay a parking meter when you see the time run over.
Kindness doesn’t require an ostentatious gesture or a huge expense. Put together thoughtfulness, mindfulness, creativity, and compassion, and you will realize that the possibilities are endless.
“Kindness is more than deeds. It is an attitude, an expression, a look, a touch. It is anything that lifts another person.” ~ Plato
