Reflections from a visit to Asia
I returned a few days ago from a 12-day cathartic trip to Asia. I visited my brother and family in Singapore and then traveled to Mumbai to spend time with my mom-in-law. Fortunately, my husband’s sister and her family also live in Singapore, so it was a short yet healing time with family.
We know that travel is inspirational and experiential. But this was my first trip back to Asia after losing my father and my father-in-law in the summer of 2023. I didn’t want to go back. I was skeptical how Asia would feel without my parents. It sucked at first, but I found closure and re-established a new relationship with India. If anything, the trip helped me create deeper bonds with those alive. I learned some incredible lessons in terms of mindset that I wanted to share with anyone who is grieving or starting a new chapter in their lives.
Prioritize What Matters Most
My bhabhi (sister-in-law) generously offered to host a reading for my new book, “The Loss That Binds Us”, but I turned down her sweet offer. I have done literary events in the past in Singapore, so her invite wasn’t surprising. But in the post-Dad and post-pandemic world, I have become very conscious of the value of time. Doing an event meant losing an entire day with the family and some friends, which I didn’t want.
Work From A Place Of Abundance, Not Scarcity
Everyone grieves differently. Some can’t find the motivation to get up from the couch while people like me pour themselves into work. Since last year, I have worked nonstop. I completed my doctorate in Ayurveda, finished a business program, wrote and found a publishing house for my book, and re-launched my company. I needed a break. I took some real time off (no client or editorial work) and checked my emails for 30 minutes every couple of days to communicate with event organizers. I didn’t let my mind think that I would lose out on opportunities. It was about gaining rest and clarity.
Work Smarter, Not Harder
Every time I go back to Asia, I see people live well. What I mean by that is despite the intense work culture and appalling work-life balance philosophy, people make so much room for joy and life on a daily basis. My cousin’s kids from California were visiting Singapore at the same time I was, and my brother and his family made so much time for them even on weekdays and weeknights.
Work will always be there but how do we not make it our sole identity? I learned that we need to live in the moment, make more time for pauses, and prioritize self-care before we reach a place of burnout. I am a nature and animal lover, so my brother, sister-in-law, and my nieces took me to everything nature (River Safari, Botanical Gardens, hiking, Gardens by the Bay and much more). I saw pandas—they were on my bucket list—and I am set for life. We ate some incredible meals and enjoyed memorable meals even on weeknights.
Don’t Let Fear Drown You
Whether you are a small business owner or an employee at a corporation, businesses not thriving or getting laid off is a real fear for each one of us. I spoke with people on this trip who lost their jobs recently. Yes, the lack of a paycheck is scary, and as you get older, there is also the real problem of ageism in finding opportunities. But I saw that they separate their identities from work and don’t fight reality. Work is not them and there is more to life. I felt their relationship with their businesses or jobs was rather fearless and empowering. Strategic time management, showing up diligently, and protecting your calendar are integral to success, not working endlessly.
Get Comfortable With The Uncomfortable
It was unnerving to land in India at first and realize that I could no longer fill my parent’s information in the immigration form. That shift in identity hit hard, and I cried in the plane. I didn’t care if others were looking at me. I made the decision to do a solo trip to Asia and work on my healing. I had to be prepared that I would feel tested on many levels. I got over the hump eventually.
Be it in career or life or school or in relationships, exploring newness and murky waters is where growth begins, not wondering how it would feel from the outside. We have to push ourselves out of our comfort zone if we want to see real change.
Rest Is Radical
As a woman-owned wellness business, sometimes people assume I will always be available. You can’t change how people think, but you can work on how you practice self-care and set up healthy boundaries. I believe even our clients appreciate when we show up rested and balanced—it benefits them. I had several people message or email me, but I informed them nicely that I was taking a personal trip and would respond after a certain date. No protests or pressure. They followed along my stories on social media and saw my personal side. I responded to their enquiry upon return and that was it. Sometimes, the impatient lot will not wait for you. And that’s okay too. What’s meant for you will always come back.
Has travel taught you any lessons? Share with us in the comments section.
“We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.”
